God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

—Genesis 1:28

Since Genesis never gives an account of the first couple’s wedding, a fair number of rabbinic writers give us their thoughts of how it went. Below is a condensed version by Howard Schwartz from the midrashic sources. The most entertaining aspects of this story, in my opinion, are the archangels Michael and Gabriel serving as Adam’s groomsmen (I bet the bachelor party was off the hook knowing those two), God’s role as best man and snazzy wedding planner, and the angelic dance party that followed.

When Adam awoke and saw Eve standing in front of him, their faces illuminating each other, he understood at once that he had found his true mate. God introduced Adam to Eve and explained how she had been created. Then Adam embraced her and kissed her and said, “This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. This one shall be called Woman, for from man was she taken” (Gen. 2:23).

Then God knew that the time had come for the world’s first wedding. God Himself prepared tables of precious pearls and filled them with delicacies.

God also created ten wedding canopies for them, all made of precious gems, pearls, and gold. So too did He attire Eve, the first bride, in a beautiful wedding dress, and braid her hair and adorn her with twenty-four different ornaments.

As the ceremony began, the ministering angels walked before Adam, leading him beneath the wedding canopies. Michael and Gabriel were Adam’s groomsmen. Then God Himself brought the bride to Adam and stood before them like a cantor, and took the cup of blessing and blessed them, as it is said, God blessed them (Gen. 1:28).

As soon as Adam and Eve were wed, still other angels descended to the Garden of Eden, playing music for the newlyweds, beating tambourines and dancing to pipes. So too did the sun, the moon and the stars dance for them, and all of creation joined in the celebration of the world’s first wedding.

This wedding would make Kim Kardashian jealous; dinner tables made of pearls, God decorating Eve with ornaments like the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, and ten canopies made of gems, pearls, and gold. My only disappointment is that there isn’t a story about the first baby shower. The tradition of Adam and Eve’s wedding was so persistent that at least one Islamic version was composed,[2] though suffice to say Eve isn’t treated quite as well in this account – being referred to as God’s “slave” and given to Adam to be under his command.

Sources and Further Reading:

• Book: Tree of Souls: The Mythology of Judaism by Howard Schwartz